Dear Ask A Sagacious Downer,
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THIS! Like, not ever, never never, but yeah, you would be inhuman if you did. But here’s the shocking news I have to share with you: MY SON LIKES SPINACH!!!
Yes, this is not some joke I’m making up. My son loved spinach ever since he had his first bite, and he keeps eating it since. He’s crazy over it. From insisting to have it every meal (in different recipes from Spinach Bread to Spinach Cakes) to actually wearing custom shirts with ‘I Love Spinach!’ on top, he’s going out of his mind.
Please tell me how to solve this problem, because I don’t think this is just a ‘phase’ in his life. And I’m tired of eating Spinach Spaghetti.
Please, please help me out,
Fruit Parent
Dear Fruit Parent,
Whoa, that’s a new one. Thanks for sending me this. This is so special, unique and unheard of that my intern almost deleted it because he thought it was for a humour magazine.
Your boy no doubt has a serious issue. He’s addicted to that leafy vegetable when millions of kids around the world puke when it’s in their sight. Vegetable addiction.
You seem to like fruits a lot. Getting your boy addicted to fruits it a great way to solve this problem. Not only would he stop getting head over heals for spinach, you wouldn’t complain if he starts wearing ‘I Love Pears’ badges because you love them too. Not only that, it’ll make him much more normal because kids his age probably like pears way more than spinach, whatever Popeye says.
You may want to ban him from the supermarket, though.
Regards,
Sagacious Downer
Ask a Sagacious Downer is a column of fake and comedic letters on weird stuff, and comments on it by a negative wise person. Maybe you can even submit your own suggestions, by commenting below.
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